Dear Abby,
You’ve just arrived in Nepal. Everything is new and shiny and exotic. This isn’t exactly your first rodeo. You’ve moved countries before. You’ve been new before. You’ve transitioned more times than I care to remind you. And yet. Every time, it surprises you how long it takes to settle, how hard it is to make true friends, and how much you have to push yourself to keep trying. It takes an enormous amount of energy and hootzpah (i.e. grit) to get up every morning, and keep trying at all the things. The things being: engaging in a language not your own, eating food you’re not used to, cooking that very same food, making friends who might not move away next week, and all the ways to beat the pollution and stay healthy.
I want to remind you that some of these things don’t get any easier. But some do. Time will settle your soul and you’ll even begin to feel a sense of “home” in this new place. Your son will begin to speak Nepali with his didi (older sister…any older Nepali woman). You will begin to understand at least *some* of the things being said around you. You will begin to see your role in this adventure. You will experience loss. And that will be harder than I can tell you. But you will also experience depth in the relationships around you and eventually even new life.
You will not regret the time, energy, and cost it took to create a space that feels like a home. There will be many opinions about this…how expats/workers/foreigners should and should not live, but you will be glad that you sought to be sustainable in this place and have a home to make you and your family feel safe and heard. You will see your fierce mama bear surface more and more as you allow yourself to confidently step into who you are now. No one knows your kid better than you do. And no one else was made for that job the way you were.
Your husband will continue to listen to you, and this will be the greatest gift of this year of marriage. He will seek to support you, stand by you, and remind you of your gifts when you start to doubt yourself. He will fight for your many roles and hats you wear and he will remind you of where your heading together.
You’ll doubt your Father at times this year. You’ll doubt his plan. You’ll doubt his goodness. You’ll ask a lot of “why?” You will also sense his humanity more than ever. His compassion. His desire for you to process all your doubts and disappointments right next to him, right in his ear. You’ll see his hand at work in the people around you. You’ll marvel at the way He is moving in the world and the faith in his people here. You’ll sing in the morning and in the evening.
So, dear Abby, don’t give up. Hold on. And continue to see the story unfold.
